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Halloween Jokes, Quotes and Sayings

Halloween has inspired some of the funniest Halloween jokes, check them out!:

  • What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party? The cat ate her.
  • Why doesn’t dracula get invited to many parties? because he sucks…
  • What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite!
  • What did one casket say to the other casket? “Is that you coffin?”
  • Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party? Because he just came to pick up his little sister.
  • Where’s the most dangerous place to go trick-or-treating? On the psycho path!
  • What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party? Hallowieners!
  • What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost? Fasten your sheet belt.
  • What’s a vampires favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
  • Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up.
  • What did one ghost say to another? I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe in people.
  • What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you’re spooken to.
  • Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts.
  • Why do witches fly on brooms? Vacuum cords aren’t long enough.
  • What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
  • What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern? A plump-kin
  • Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare Centers
  • Why do mummies make good employees? They get all wrapped up in their work
  • Why did the Skeleton go to the BB-Q? To get some spare ribs!
  • Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately
  • Where do ghosts go swimming? The dead sea
  • What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween
  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? Because he had no-BODY to go with.
  • What’s happening when you hear HA HA HA…THUD? A Ghoul is laughing his head off.
  • Did you hear about the romance between the boy and girl vampire? Their love was in vein.
  • What did the three vampires order at the bar? Two bloods and a blood light
  • Why isn’t Dracula invited to many Halloween parties? Because he’s a pain in the neck
  • What does a skeleton say before dining? Bone Appetite!
  • What is a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangsgiving…
  • What type of dog does Dracula have? A blood hound!
  • What did the little ghost have in his rock collection? Tombstones.
  • Why was it so loud in the cemetary? Because of all the coffin.
  • What do ghosts put in their bras? BOOOObies!
  • Did you hear about the ghost haunting the hen house? It was a poultry-geist!
  • What do you call a hungy Weiner dog on Halloween? A hallow Weiner.
  • What is a mummies favorite type of music? Wrap!
  • Why was the ghost at the bar? for all the BOOS!
  • Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? his ghoul friend.
  • Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal? He heard it had great circulation…
  • Knock, Knock, Who’s there? boooooooo boooooooo Who? awww dont cry…
  • What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its radius? Pumpkin Pi!
  • What road do ghosts like to go trick-or-treating on? Dead ends
  • Why is there a fence around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.

2 thoughts on “Halloween Jokes, Quotes and Sayings”

  1. Here are a few more Halloween Jokes:

    – Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets

    – Q: What do little trees say on Halloween? A: Twig or treat

    – A man was staying in a big old house and in the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said, “I have been walking these corridors for 300 years.” The man said, “in that case, can you tell me the way to the toilet?”


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