Halloween Jokes, Quotes and Sayings
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Halloween has inspired some of the funniest Halloween jokes, quotes and sayings. Do you have any cool Halloween jokes to share? Click here to submit them...
Here we go...
What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party? The cat ate her.
Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party? Because he just came to pick up his little sister.
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets
Q: What do little trees say on Halloween?
A: Twig or treat
Where's the most dangerous place to go trick-or-treating? On the psycho path!
What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party? Hallowieners!
What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost? Fasten your sheet belt.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up.
What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in people.
What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you're spooken to.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
Why do witches fly on brooms? Vacuum cords aren't long enough.
What was the witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling.
What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern? A plump-kin
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare Centers
Why do mummies make good employees? They get all wrapped up in their work
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately...
Where do ghosts go swimming? The dead sea...
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it's Halloween...
What did the three vampires order at the bar? Two bloods and a blood light...
Why isn't Dracula invited to many Halloween parties? Because he's a pain in the neck...
Click here to view more visitor-sumbitted jokes (or scroll below the form)
And, now it's your turn to sumbit your funny Halloween jokes using the form below...
Share Your Halloween Jokes
Do you have a great Halloween joke to share? Great! Here's your chance to make us laugh!
Halloween Jokes Contributed by Other Visitors
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to the Halloween jokes page...
Ghostly Rocks - Halloween Joke
What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?
Tombstones.
BOOOOOOOOOOO - Halloween Joke
Knock, Knock,
Who's there?
boooooooo
boooooooo Who?
awww dont cry...
Pumpkin Halloween Joke
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its radius?
- Pumpkin Pi!!!!
lolololololol
Mummy Halloween Joke
What is a mummies favourite type of music?
Wrap!
Draculas Mother Halloween Joke
Why did Dracula's mother give him cough medicine?
He was having a coffin fit!
Skeleton Halloween Joke
Q)What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?
A)Spare Ribs!
Ghost In The Hen House Halloween Joke
Did you hear about the ghost haunting the hen house?
It was a poultry-geist!
Vampire Halloween Joke
What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...
Drakula Halloween Joke
Why isn't Dracula invited to many Halloween parties?
Because he's a pain in the neck...
Mid-Morning Halloween Joke
(Q) What do monsters have mid-morning?
(A) A coffin break!
Snowman and Dracula Halloween Joke
What do you get when you cross a snowman with Dracula?
Frostbite...
Skeleton Party Halloween Joke Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had no-body to go with.
Drakula's Dog Halloween Joke What type of dog does Dracula have? A blood hound!
The skeleton's BB-Q Halloween Joke Why did the Skeleton go to the BB-Q? To get some spare ribs!:-)
Vampire and Showman Halloween Joke
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
Frostbite!
Ghost Bras
What do ghosts put in their bras?
BOOOObies!
Dining With a Skeleton - Halloween Joke
What does a skeleton say before dining?
Bone Appetite!
Ugly Brother Halloween Joke
Why was my brother surprised when he won the halloween costume contest?
Because when he went up he was just getting a drink.
Headless Ghoul Halloween Joke
What's happening when you hear HA HA HA...THUD?
A Ghoul is laughing his head off.
Hungry Weiner Halloween Joke
What do you call a hungy Weiner dog on Halloween?
A hallow Weiner.
Skeleton Joke
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
He didn't have any BODY to go with!
Cemetary Joke
Why was it so loud in the cemetary?
Because of all the coffin.
Halloween Ghost Joke A man was staying in a big old house and in the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said, "I have been walking these corridors for 300 years....
Wall Street Journal Halloween Joke Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal? He heard it had great circulation...
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